There's a fine line
Yes, there's a fine line between thinking positively and getting your hopes up. This is a spiritual dilemma that seems to keep popping up in my life and I never seem to get a handle on what I should do.
I have read spiritual books that advise that I should think positively, as if the thing that I want has already happened or as if I already have what I want. By putting those positive thoughts out into the universe, I make them more likely to happen. By putting out doubt, I am putting out my lack as truth and what I will get from that is only more lacking.
The flip side of this coin is getting ones hopes up. I have had several occasions in my life where I let myself believe I had won something or accomplished something as a way of "thinking positively" only to be deeply devestated when it didn't happen. So for me, I tend to not assume I have anything before it is official mostly as a way of protecting myself from inevitable disappointment. Maybe that negativity is part of my problem.
I have applied for the temporary one-year music teaching position that is my sister's regular job. Big J has been after me for a week now to email the new principal and let him know why I'm the perfect person for the job. Last night as I took my after-dinner walk around the neighborhood, I envisioned myself in the job. I imagined setting up the room, planning the curriculum, teaching the first few introductory days, etc. It did help me to get up my confidence and this morning as soon as I got out of bed I sat down at the computer and wrote the email to the principal. But visualizing myself in front of that classroom or on stage during the music programs or in meetings with other teachers gets me really excited and I am all the more scared that those things won't happen. I've been disappointed enough in the past that I'm reluctant to assume anything.
And, of course, in my line of work I'm liable not to hear anything either way until after August first. Sigh. I will not let this worry hijack my summer vacation!
I have read spiritual books that advise that I should think positively, as if the thing that I want has already happened or as if I already have what I want. By putting those positive thoughts out into the universe, I make them more likely to happen. By putting out doubt, I am putting out my lack as truth and what I will get from that is only more lacking.
The flip side of this coin is getting ones hopes up. I have had several occasions in my life where I let myself believe I had won something or accomplished something as a way of "thinking positively" only to be deeply devestated when it didn't happen. So for me, I tend to not assume I have anything before it is official mostly as a way of protecting myself from inevitable disappointment. Maybe that negativity is part of my problem.
I have applied for the temporary one-year music teaching position that is my sister's regular job. Big J has been after me for a week now to email the new principal and let him know why I'm the perfect person for the job. Last night as I took my after-dinner walk around the neighborhood, I envisioned myself in the job. I imagined setting up the room, planning the curriculum, teaching the first few introductory days, etc. It did help me to get up my confidence and this morning as soon as I got out of bed I sat down at the computer and wrote the email to the principal. But visualizing myself in front of that classroom or on stage during the music programs or in meetings with other teachers gets me really excited and I am all the more scared that those things won't happen. I've been disappointed enough in the past that I'm reluctant to assume anything.
And, of course, in my line of work I'm liable not to hear anything either way until after August first. Sigh. I will not let this worry hijack my summer vacation!
Labels: Identity, My Spiritual Search, Teaching
posted by Mama G @ 2:07 PM
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