Mom to the Left

I'm a mom who tends to live just to the "left" of most of the people around me here in Indiana.

Thursday, April 03, 2008

Easter, new life, and church homes

I've been trying to think through my current spiritual state and make some sense of it. I feel like I'm at sea and being tossed all around and I'm trying to get my bearings and figure out which way I want to go. I haven't said much here because I, frankly, didn't know how to put into words what I'm thinking.

This year for Easter we attended the Quaker meeting that we've visited several times. We took the two youngest boys with us. Being Quaker, there wasn't a lot of pomp and circumstance like some denominations do. But that's okay. I feel very attracted to the idea of simplicity. That isn't to say that it was a small or insignificant service. We got there early (thankfully) and it was packed! They had to bring out folding chairs and set them up in the aisles because it was so crowded. And the message was lovely. They didn't try to say that they've got the answers of what happened. They merely pointed out that, no matter what your belief about what happened that day in the tomb outside of Jerusalem 2000 years ago, the affect that it has today on our lives/religions is obvious.

I especially liked the emphasis on the resurrection leading to new life. For the children's focus that Sunday, one of the meeting's members (who happens to be a farmer) brought in baby chicks and ducks to show the magic of new life coming from eggs - a symbol of Easter. And in the end there was focus on the idea that we can let Jesus be resurrected through us by bringing God's love into the world in the way that we live. What a terrific and spot-on message. I felt uplifted and didn't feel the weight of that whole "did it really happen" question that I often get at Easter. I also left the meeting that day feeling like it was the first day of the rest of my life. I feel like changes are coming and, instead of fearing them, I am excited about what my future holds.

I really love the services at the Quaker meeting. The formula seems to be (after announcements, joys and concerns, and focusing silence) reading of biblical scripture and then a narrative based on something contemporary and local that always ties in with the scripture and illustrates how we can interpret the bible in meaningful ways for our lives today and where we live. It is exactly what a service should be. It is definitely Christian, but I have not yet felt uncomfortable with its institutionalized Christianity. So far, this is the only Christian congregation I've attended where I can truly say that. It seems to be about the celebration of God's love for the world as exemplified by Jesus rather than worshipping the messenger and focusing on what happens after death, which seems to be what most Christian churches are all about.

I have even caught Big J reading the bible on more than one occasion! That is really quite amazing because he has some serious baggage from his fundamentalist upbringing. Until recently, he wouldn't even look at a bible. Now he is really interested. I think this Quaker meeting has shown him a more loving side of Christianity. He's discovered what he calls "red letter Christians" (as in those Christians who focus on the words of Jesus that are in red in the bible as their basis for Christianity). He has also been moved by people who are openly Christian and yet stand up for environmental priorities - something he doesn't recognize from his Christian childhood.

The more we visit this Quaker meeting, the less and less I feel drawn to our UU church. I'm still on the church membership list so I am receiving email messages that are being sent out detailing the painful process that is going on there now regarding what could end up being a divisive split in the church. There is just a lot of hateful meanness going on there and I just find myself repulsed by it. It makes me sad. Every week they say in the convenant that "Love is the spirit of this church," but at this point those seem to be empty words and the actions of the people in the congregation are actually the opposite of this supposed covenant. Sigh. So I feel I have one foot out the door where that is concerned. It is hard to be motivated to return when there is such a palpable feeling of joy and compassion at the Quaker meeting.

Oh, one last thing. Speaking of new life, don't forget to check out my new gardening blog at Dirt in my Fingernails. It's brand new and there isn't much there yet, but I have big plans for this summer.

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