Honey and vinegar

"You catch more flies with honey than with vinegar." That saying has been weighing heavily on my mind for several weeks now. Particularly, there is a person in my life for whom this saying always jumps to mind.

She and I lead very similar lives. We have children similar ages and in similar activities. We are both substitute teachers who are trying to get full-time teaching jobs. We even have similar appearances. I've been mistaken for her on more than one occasion.

However, there is one notable difference. It is our dispositions. Now, I don't pretend to be Miss Holly Golightly. I have been down, particularly in the last few months. But I make a conscious effort not to take that face out into the world. I know it won't do me any good and won't further my causes.

This particular person is...well...a grumpy gus. She is always complaining about something. She snaps at people over the littlest things. She's just generally not a fun person to be around and I've noticed more and more people avoiding her lately. Her vinegar isn't attracting any flies.

She and I have commisserated over our struggles to get a job. I have made a decided effort to keep from complaining, but it is something that we do have in common. I have recently become aware of the fact that, while she in some ways is more experienced than me, she is having more trouble getting long-term gigs. I've learned that she is "not liked" by teachers and students and parents. I have also become more aware that I am generally well liked. My opportunities have started exploding on several fronts.

To help me get through my difficult times and keep fighting the good fight, I have prayed daily that I may be God's hands in the world. I try to be grateful for what I have and know that I have all that I need. God will provide. In every interaction I have with people, I try to remember to see the face of God in everyone and carry that awareness into the world. I really do feel like it has made a difference for me.

Meanwhile, I feel sort of bad for this woman. While I admit that she gets on my nerves too, deep down she is really trying hard to get a job. She honestly has no idea why she is having such a hard time. She is always grumbling about some kind of political subterfuge. She doesn't realize that her personality turns people off. I have not been able to think of a tactful way to suggest that maybe she could be a little friendlier to people. And I don't even know if it is my place. I was really uncomfortable when we were recently in a common group situation and others were talking to me about my upcoming maternity leaves. She was suddenly quiet as I believe the news was a surprise to her. And I felt a little guilty. I know that I got the jobs because of my own qualifications.

It is just awkward. I have my own opinions about what this woman's problems are in getting a job, but my sense of good manners keeps me quiet.